Instruction how to apply a pill to a cat

1. Take your cat into the crook of your left arm, as if you would carry a baby. Put the right thumb and middle-finger on both sides of the muzzle and impose soft pressure upon it, until your cat openes it. Push the pill in and let your cat close its muzzle.

2. Pick the pill from the floor and fetch your cat from behind the sofa. Take your cat in your arm again and repeat the procedure.

3. Take your cat out of the bedroom and chuck away the driveled pill.

4. Take a new pill out of the package, your cat again in your arm hold its paws with your left Hand. Keep the jaws apart and push the pill to the rear area of the muzzle. Close it and count up to 10.

5. Fish the pill out of the aquarium and your cat from the hallstand. Call your partner who works in the garden.

6. Kneel down on the floor and clamp your cat between your knees. Keep the front pads. Ignore your cat’s snarl. Ask your partner to fix your cat’s head and to push a ruler into its neck. Let the pill roll down the ruler and abrade your cat’s neck afterwards.

7. Pick your cat from the curtain. Take a new pill out of the package. Annotate to buy a new ruler and to patch the curtain.

8. Wrap your cat into a large towel. Drape the pill at the end of a straw. Ask your partner to take your cat in headlock, so that just its head peers at the elbow. Stem the muzzle open by using a ball-pen and blow the pill in your cats neck.

9. Check the package insert to make sure that the pill is harmless for human beings. Drink a glas of water to get rid of the taste. Dress your partner’s arms and remove the blood from the carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Take your cat from your neighbours summerhouse. Take a new pill. Put your cat into a cabinet and close the cabinet door amounting to its nape that way, that just the head peers. Stem its muzzle open with a dessert spoon. Shoot the pill with a rubber band into the fauces

11. Take a screwdriver from the garage and put the cabinet door back into the door hinge. Put a cold compress onto your face and check the date of your last ttetanus shot. Chuck your with blood sprinkled T-shirt away and take a new one out of the bedroom.

12. Call the fire brigade to pick your cat from the tree on the opposite of the road. Apologise your neighbour, who drove into the fence by avoiding to hit your cat. Take the last pill out of the package.

13. Hog-tie your cat’s pads with a clothesline. Knot it to the dining table leg. Put gardeners gloves on and open the muzzle with a crowbar. Fill the pill in, followed by a large piece of filetsteak. Keep your cat’s head vertical and pour water after to flush the pill down.

14. Ask your partner to carry you to the hospital. Sit still while the doctor stitches your finger and arm and takes the pill off your eye. Stopp on your way home at a furniture shop to order a new dining tabel. Back at home call the vet to make an appointment, to let the vet give the shot to your cat.